Who Saw It Coming?

One of the main reasons we kept our parents together in our managed care was because of the reports from nursing homes and senior facilities.  You've heard about how protective animals are of their young.  We felt like that about our parents.  Once dementia struck it was even more critical that neither of our parents would ever have to face or deal with abuse.  

You can see from this chard that ove than half of all abuse stems from neglect.  The animal shelter people know this all too well.  When we had occasion to call an ambulance the EMS personnel commented on the number of seniors they attend who are living at home in appalling conditions.  We experienced social workers coming up to us before discharging our parents from short hospital stays to confirm that they had decent care.  

Other arrangements are often made and a senior won't even go back to the home they were picked up in by the ambulance.  Can you imagine that?  Can you imagine the level of trauma, stress, confusion, concern and even more if that senior has pets?  We just didn't ever want our parents to experience anything like that.  

Once we had nurses hired to help us with our Self Managed Care Funding we heard the stories of the abuse that went on witnessed first hand by these nurses in facilities.  We could understand that dementia can cause difficult attitudes and uncooperative behavior. This usually has to be evidenced before serious medication is administered.  

Some behaviors lead to assault of a caregiver by the resident because of confusion especially when trying to help in a physical way where normal privacy is invaded.  In my book I take time to mention that sometimes what is being chalked up to dementia, is just a normal reaction which any of us would exhibit if treated the same way.   

It's not easy to manage the care of people with dementia and like small children who aren't safe to be left alone, you sometimes find out the hard way, what needs to be put in place for their safety and your sanity. My confession is that I often scolded my Dad for how he treated Mom and ran to his bedside as he lay in palliative care to ask his forgiveness.  His last words to me were, "I forgive you!" ​